My First Mentor, Billy
One topic that has arisen in many of my recent coaching sessions has been the importance of having a mentor. Later in the blog, I will relate a very personal story about my first mentor. One that I have never made public.
Mentorship can provide immense advantages to the mentee. Not only is the transfer of knowledge, experience, and wisdom important, but to know someone you can trust to provide honest feedback and inspiration is critical to your personal and professional growth.
Here are the three benefits of mentorship:
1. Providing Feedback: Obtaining positive feedback from someone you trust is critical. Most close friends or family members are not comfortable providing feedback because of the risk of damaging a valued relationship. Constructive feedback from a trusted mentor can lead to peak performance through adaptive change in behavior and perspective.
Example: I had an insurance candidate two years ago who had an issue with his communication style. He was a phenomenal underwriter, but was anxious, had a nervous tick, and could not conduct a meeting without stumbling and bumbling – he was just too nervous about public speaking.
He enlisted me as his coach and mentor. I provided my honest, constructive feedback – improve your communication skills or you will most likely never advance to a management role.
I recommended he immediately enroll in a local Toastmasters Class and within three months he was the most confident person in the room. He was now able to conduct his meetings with a renewed confidence that provided him with the level of credibility that he deserved. I know because his boss (and hiring authority) told me. His career has since flourished as a leader and manager.
2. Professional Growth: A mentor at a senior level in your organization has the power to significantly influence and facilitate professional growth opportunities. Because of their experience, they know how to get things done bureaucratically and politically.
They know what certifications or skill sets you need to grow within the firm simply because they have ‘been there, done that.’
Example: Five years ago, an ambitious young insurance account CSR, Sally, that I placed at a client of mine was focused on getting from CSR to account manager to an account executive position in her independent insurance agency.
I advised Sally to identify someone at the VP-level to be her mentor. After a few months, she was able to develop a close relationship with the VP – Operations and started having coffee with her once per month.
Ultimately, the VP agreed to take her under her wing as a mentee. Sally learned specifically what professional certifications to obtain and which skill sets to develop.
Sally ultimately became the spreadsheet and analytics guru Inside of 18 months. She was promoted to account manager within two years. Three years later, she was promoted to senior account executive. Her compensation has doubled in less than five years.
3. Inspiration: Inspiration is important for all of us. It’s the wood we throw into the proverbial fire that propels us forward, particularly, during tough times.
Great books and movies are measured by their ability to inform, inspire, and entertain. To inspire is the most difficult. If you can find a mentor who can inspire, you are on your way to being a peak performer and satisfied in what you are doing.
Personal Example: As a pre-high schooler, I spent most summers at my grandfather’s farm in the country. It was hard work. During this time, my much older cousin, Billy, who is six years older than me, also lived on the farm as he was in high school at the time. In my eyes, he was a larger-than-life character. Think “Hud” in the Paul Newman classic.
I still thank him to this day for the way he looked out for me; always leading by example.
Billy was my first mentor.
It wasn’t what Billy said that inspired me, but it was how he handled himself. Sometimes mentorship is more about leading by example than by explanation.
Sure, Billy was kind of a wild guy in high school, but he was also very bright, thoughtful, and full of wisdom.
I loved riding in his old car too. On occasion, he would take me for a ride with the windows down and the Beatles tunes blaring when he could have been doing something much more exciting with his friends. Somehow over the loud music, we would have great talks about girls, sports, and the game of life.
I still relish those times. Learned so much.
Billy was also an avid reader of the classics. I was always curious when I would see him reading in his room. He would notice me and invite me in to explain some of the messages within these great books. I still remember Billy explaining the Odyssey to me. It was a revelation.
Most of all, I would notice the way others respected Billy. People looked up to him. He had principles. He had a moral guidepost on how to act and what to do.
He was inspiring. I tried to copy everything he did.
I saw how my grandfather respected him. And he was a hard man to please!
I can still remember the day my grandfather received an official telegram informing him that Billy had been promoted to Chief Petty Officer in the Navy. One of the youngest ever. I never saw my grandfather cry. But he did that day.
Billy went on to have a highly decorated career in the Navy.
If you’re reading this, thanks, Billy. You are still my hero.
